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lyrics

(someone at the cookout)
Oh my god? Is that Jessica?
(fan sounds realizing IT IS)

Oo-oo-oo-oooh
Oo-oo-oo-oooh

[Jessica]
Yes, that’s right, I have arrived
Your star is playing here tonight
My ever growing league of fans
We’re gonna show you where you stand
Telephone, she steals the day
And all you listen to what I say
I’m climbing up, I’m rising fast
And I deserve it, you know I’m --

[Ensemble]
Jessica is great
Jessica is fine
Jessica is ready
To rip out all your spines
Jessica is here
And she's gonna blow your mind
Oh yeah
She’s the killer for the Pies
Oo-oo-oo-oooh
The killer for the Pies
Oo-oo-oo-oooh
The killer for the
(FAN SCREAMS)

(someone #2)
Jessica, can I’ve your autograph?
(Jessica)
If you can catch me, (laughing) I move so fast

(someone #3)
Jessica, how do you hit those home runs?

(Jessica)
I’m not even trying! I’m just having fun!

(telephan club)
Jessica, please! How do you do it?

(Jessica)
When they put you down, you just have to say “screw it!”

(telephan club)
Screw it!

(Jessica)
And when you’re standing on the mound
Look them in the eyes, then take them down

(ensemble)
Jessica is awesome
Jessica is quick
Jessica’s so good
It will make you sick
Jessica can end you
And you won’t even know why
Oh yeah
She’s the killer for the Pies
Oo-oo-oo-oooh
The killer for the Pies
Oo-oo-oo-oooh

[DIALOGUE BREAK “spooky bridge bit” “some atonal bullshit”]

Sebastian:
Jess!
Big bell! Over here!
It's Seb! It's little bell!

Jessica:
Sebastian! Hey!
How're you doing?

Sebastian:
I'm doing okay! I miss you a-

Jessica:
I'm so sorry Bub!
I gotta go, I'm so so so busy.
I'll call you soon, I pinkie promise!

(ensemble)
(jessica ad lib)
Jessica is sweet
She has so many fans (Jessica: How do I do it?)
Jessica has skills
That you couldn’t understand
Even though she’s vicious,
She’s gracious and she’s kind
But watch your back!
She’s the killer for the Pies
Oo-oo-oo-oooh
The killer for the Pies
Oo-oo-oo-oooh

Jessica:
The killer for the Pies

credits

from The Deaths of Sebastian Telephone, released December 26, 2020
Erica Ewell as Sebastian Telephone
Quinne Larsen as Jessica Telephone
Emma Shannon as Ensemble
Isabela Spielman as Ensemble
Jesse Vetters as Ensemble
John Bettonville as Ensemble
Kate Hardly as Ensemble
Kimberly Dauber as Ensemble
Michael Lepore as Ensemble
Philomena Sherwood as Ensemble
Rodrigo Borges as Ensemble

- - -

Bass: Deidra Skye
Acoustic Guitar: Louie Zong
Electric Guitars: Neil Bickford
Drums & Mix: rain

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Blaseball: The Musical Belfast, UK

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